Before I went into grad school, I faced the big question: Is it possible to go through grad school while keeping one's full time dream job and being a parent?
Now that I am toward the end of the M.Sc., I can answer, Yup! It's possible!
The biggest challenge I have faced is that I did not have quite enough vacation days. I made it through the first 3 years no problem. I feel like I was able to complete those years (which was just doing course work) to the fullest of my potential. I worked hard, I got high marks, and am proud of that.
However, by the time my fourth year rolled around, I had a clash between my classes and paper publication work. I used a LOT of vacation during that time because there was so much activity compressed into a short period of time, not to mention unexpected needed time off due to lack of child care. During my fourth year of grad school, I burnt the remainder of my vacation right into the ground. Gone! Each month, I get a little more, but I burn it right away. It is stressful because I worry if something happens and I have to be away from work for any length of time, I'll get into trouble. I am very fortunate to have supervisors, both on the employer side and on the grad school side, who want me to complete my M.Sc.. If either side tried to push me out, I'd be a goner.
So, what would I say to a person who is thinking about going into grad school, but is facing similar worries as I?
I would say, if research is your dream, then follow your dream. DO IT! If the choice is grad school or no grad school, then pick grad school!
I worry that people who have watched me from afar would look at all my vacation problems and child care problems and then advise other potential students not to follow the same path I did. But I would shout back and say that I am so, so, so glad I made the choice I did. Sure, I may have missed some opportunities and didn't go to all the conferences I could have or submitted all the papers I could have or even learned all the things I could have in all my classes. But I did my best, and I STILL LEARNED A LOT. It was worth it.
I still have to write my thesis, mind you, and there is a lot of work left for me, and my vacation days continue to be in shortage. But I know it will be fine. I am doing it.
This is about the freedom to be able to experience grad school, to try it. If some external force says that a potential student shouldn't be allowed into the program because it is assumed that they will not have enough time.... then that would be truly sad. I am talking about social barriers, equality, and access to education.
I think that people should have the choice to be able to try grad school, and if they fail, to fail on their own terms and not by some external force judging it for them, i.e. discrimination ("you'll never make it anyway, so why should we even let you try!"). On the other hand, research institutions only want to support people who will be able to be productive researchers. Is it the university's responsibility to "give people a chance", for equality and fairness sake? Or, do universities have the right to deny an application to a student who doesn't appear to have enough free time to be able to keep up with classes and research?
Maybe universities should have some say in only accepting the "best" students. But, many people who have potential to be among "the best" are prevented from doing so if basic needs are not provided for, such access to daycare spots (AND ON WEEKENDS, TOO!). But there are not enough social support structures in existence to meet demand right now - where I live, getting a daycare spot is extremely competitive because there are so few spots available. This could be fixed with more government funding, but I don't know if anyone cares: it is just assumed that one parent will quit their job and take care of the kids, so why bother putting tax money into creating daycare spaces. (answer: for example, sometimes the parent wants to continue working outside the home! ) This is an artifact of the 1950s and earlier, where the woman was expected to stay at home and only the man would work. Only men were allowed to go to university and only men could vote, etc.. But nowdays we are more realistic: sometimes the man stays at home, or sometimes the woman is married to a woman, or a man to a man, single parent families exist, etc. etc. Society should support all kinds of families and this means providing enough daycare to meet demand.
Sigh, first world problems I guess. I am very, very lucky that I even have access to daycare and higher education at all!!
No comments:
Post a Comment